If you are not happy being single, you will not be happy in a relationship

If you are not happy being single, you will not be happy in a relationship


By Firoozeh Bowden, January 2019

Now that we have started a new year I would like to share something with my frustrated single friends who seem to end one relationship only to start another one that is very similar to the last one, and doomed to fail from the beginning!


Imagine if you lived and worked on the 15th floor of a high rise, and only had close contact with others who lived on your level. You saw others who lived above and bellow you on the same building come and go, but could not have any close contact with them. Our lives are very similar to this scenario. Perhaps if you take a look at the Vibration chart in Dr David Hawkins’ book “Power VS Force” that I will post below, it will become clearer.

We are all essentially energy, vibrating at different frequencies. Depending on our emotional state our vibration changes and can go up if we are joyful, exited or feel love, or go down if we feel rejected, angry, unlovable, etc. There is a vibration that ​each one of us​ tend to spend most of our time in during the day. That vibration is the floor where ​you​ reside in that imaginary high rise.

Most of your meaningful contacts and the ones who play a role in your life, have similar vibration to you. That is why it is extremely important to always be mindful of your mood and feelings. That is why we are told in the holy books to stay joyful regardless of our circumstances. Our vibration not only attracts certain people to us, but also determines the events in our lives. The universe wants to give us what we want. If we say I will never find happiness in my life or be successful, guess what the universe gives you? If you are positive and only project positive thoughts and plans for your future, and have total faith and trust, staying open, that is what you will receive.

So for someone who mistrusts others, is jealous, gets angry and violent, or likes being a victim, and in high drama, doesn’t it make sense that they would only attract the same kind of person to themselves over and over, unless they do some work on themselves, and learn to change their behavior and their outlook on life?

When we grow spiritually and permanently change our vibration, it is as if we move up to a higher level on that high rise. We also meet and attract healthier people who are more conscious of their behavior, and their thoughts. When two people who have done a lot of soul searching and released a lot of old baggage, and negative energy they have been caring around meet, it is like two peaces of puzzle coming together. There is no conflict or drama, no games, only total honesty and immense, true, everlasting. unconditional love. The reason this is so rare and hard to find for most people is because they have no clue how to get there. That is why I am sharing this with you.


Everyone wants to be loved, and be happy. Unfortunately most people have had bad role models, and examples of what a loving couple is. The secret is to improve ourselves first. I see a lot of people jump from one relationship to another without giving themselves anytime to reflect or heal. We all need some alone time after a relationship with a loved one ends to find ourselves again, and see where we are and what we want. Sometimes talking to a friend, a coach or a counselor helps to give you a better perspective.

So please take a look at the vibration chart, and even better, if you have time, read Dr Hawkins’ book “Power VS Force”, and stay mindful of the frequency of your vibration.


Good luck. May you find that wonderful unconditional love of your life. Firoozeh Bowden

P.S. These universal laws don’t just apply to single people. Anyone who is looking for peace, love, joy, etc in their life should be mindful of their vibration at all times.

​This is one of my favorite prayers that helps a lot at times of difficulty and crises ;

O God!
Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.
O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.